Hot Bath
by Tonoxic
Summary: After a hard day, all you want to do is sink into a nice, hot tub of water and feel all your worries melt away.


_**Hot Bath**_

By the time I stumbled through my doorway, my mind was already shattered. The stress and pain from the last few days was already catching up to me. My body was unbelievably tired. It was a miracle I managed to drag myself along the hallway and into the bathroom.

In a haze, I spun all the pipes open in the bathroom. I corked the tub and felt the room steam up. Good; this was good. The heat helps. The heat would always help. After all, wasn't it the heat I was here for? Didn't the heat drive me to live the past year of my life?

I empty all bottles and jars of sweet smelling things into the water. I can't care. Ugh, I've been aching for a bath for…a day? Two days? A week? I can't even remember. It doesn't matter. Missions, missions, missions. I need a break. I need a break. Oh God, my head hurts so much.

When my body enters the steaming water, I sigh heavily. Vaguely, I remember I have on my boots…maybe even all my clothes. Twenty thousand jewel boots didn't seem too important right now. All that mattered was way the steam floated into the air and hung below the ceiling. All that mattered was the sweet stink that filled the air. All that mattered was that this felt _good_.

_Lucy, you have to go to the guild._

I push the thought to the back off my mind. We came home early. I could go in the morning. I could tell them we're back tomorrow. Probably, Happy or Natsu would go tell them. It was too comfortable here. My back didn't ache as much here. My mind was clear – empty even. I didn't have to think too much in the bath.

_No, Lucy, you have to go. Get up._

My body sinks deeper into the foamy water. Heat. That was all that mattered. Heat. As long as I feel heat, I'm okay. After all, wasn't is the heat I was here for? Didn't the heat drive…?

_Get up, Lucy. Get up._

**He was heat.**

I could feel the corners of my lips pulling into a lazy grin at that thought. Yes, that boy was heat. Everything about him just made it warm. His powers, yes, but also his smile and his laugh and way he'd say my name…Yes, he was heat. I loved the heat. Heat helped me through everything. I probably still wouldn't be alive if I hadn't met him…the heat…heat…

_Don't pass out. You can't pass out. Get up. Don't pass out. __**Wake up. **_

It didn't matter. None of it matters. Clear mind. No pain. No pain. No pain…

The water's red.

It takes me a moment to understand the source of that redness isn't the lovely bottles of smell I dumped into the water but rather me. I'm bleeding. I'm bleeding badly. My clothes were already ruined before I even hit the water. Foggily, I wonder how long I've been bleeding. Minutes? Hours? Days? Was I bleeding when I walked through the door?

_You're going to die. Go to the guild. Get help._

My subconscious really didn't understand. It didn't matter. Nothing mattered. I didn't know why it didn't matter but it was the truth. Nothing mattered. So what if my tub is overflowing? So what if my tiles just got redone? So what if I worked for three months to buy these shoes? Who cares if I bleed out in the bath?

The lights are dancing.

I grin at that. It looks so pretty with the steam. The heat feels so good. I love this. This is good.

I love the heat. I love it. Yes I love it. I love him. I love him. I love him. I love Natsu Dragneel.

_You could get help, Lucy. You could save yourself. You could-_

It doesn't matter. It all happened already. This feels good and everything's already gone to hell. It feels good and it's hell. Nothing could help and it feels good. Light is fading and it feels good. Everything is horrible but it's going to be good. It's going to get good...It feels good…

**_Get up!_**

Close your eyes, Lucy.

**_Call Wendy!_**

You love the heat.

**_You're going to die!_**

You love him.

**_You could do something!_**

He's already dead.

**_Lucy._**

And I'm going to be dead too.

It'll feel good. It'll be alright. I'll just close my eyes…  
Cause he'll be there when I open them.

And he feels good.

* * *

_A/N_

_Note to self: When you're angry, write something. Don't break everything in the house and then burn it down._

_Anyway, tell me what you guys think._


End file.
